Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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