3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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