I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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