Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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