What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place