How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".