CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.