Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
