i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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