Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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