I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
