ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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