You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
