I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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