no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
