I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize