there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
