i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
