We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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