READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
