did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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