the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
