Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
