I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she looked like the before picture.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
