So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize