its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
