is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
