Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize