thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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