aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
