You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
