She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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