Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
