Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
