I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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