i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's get the cat blown out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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