Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
