STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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