she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
