I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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