remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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