I wannas sexs uuuuu
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
