He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
