Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
