Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
high people should be assigned attendants
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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