Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
