She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
