Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
sex in a hospital.. check
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
