tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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