I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
