When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize