I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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