Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
