If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
