I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
