matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
