i barfeds in our rink
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
