I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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