You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I looked at my own cervix.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
