Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
