Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
