everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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