you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
