She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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