once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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