My cat gives me a boner
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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