It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
