I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
